Now There is a Way to Be Good Again....

...but is there really or are you just lying to me again?

Utopia.

"Suddenly I realised that I wanted everything to be as it was when I was younger. When you're young enough, you don't know that you live in a cheap lousy apartment. A cracked chair is nothing other than a chair. A dandelion growing out of a crack in the sidewalk outside your front door is a garden. You could believe that a song your parent was singing in the evening was the most tragic opera in the world. It never occurs to you when you are very young to need something other than what your parents have to offer you."

Closer.

"Don't stop loving me. I can see it draining out of you. It's me, remember? It was a stupid thing to do and it meant nothing. If you love me enough, you'll forgive me."

Transfixed.

Ive visited this place so many times before
But each time its the same,
Each time I'm the same
Each time I was lost in my dream
In my grey zone. Neither here nor there.
In transition.

This time it's real.

This time it's not the same,
This time I've changed,
This time I really am lost
Lost in the real world,
Souless and alone.

Chained and Transfixed.

Emotional Overload

I smell you on my skin.
I feel your hand in mine.
I feel my hand in yours.
I see your loving smile.
I feel my tears roll down.
I curl up in a ball.
I pray that I could fly.
I need to be alone right now.
I want to disappear.

I can't deal with this right now.

Beyond Repair.

I wish I could be the moon tonight.
Im so tired.
I really wish I could be the moon.

Invisible Enemy Whispering In My Ear.

Please stop speaking
Stop telling me what to do.
You're there every day
Every night, everywhere
Planted in the shadows
Hiding in the trees.

You tell me to do things
Some things I may not like
To slice so deep
To wound myself
Draw out my tainted blood.

Then I have to hide it.
You like that game I know.
Hide and seek with humans
See if they go unknown.

No one sees through me though,
You'll always lose that game
No one suspects a single thing.

But the problem is, that you don't give in
You continue to provoke.
You haunt and taunt and scream to me
You just won't leave me be.

One day I'll learn to ignore you,
To let my wounds heal up.
I'll tenderly touch my scars at night
Knowing I fought through.

I know one day I can achieve it
Be rid of you for good
I'll bear the war wounds from the darkened days
As my everlasting marker
Of what you made me do.